As I've said before, seeing others create and grow in their dreams is one of the most inspiring things. I love reading stories of how people came to work with the thing they love. It can happen, and it will happen as long as you don't give up your dream. Those stories give hope and joy. And I hope to one day be able to share a story of my own.
I know that because of me being highly sensitive I will have trouble working full time and have energy enough to feel like I have a life. Those periods when I have worked full time has been nothing more than work for me. All I remember doing these last few summers is working. I've done nothing more than work, because my energy isn't enough. Looking back it feels incredibly sad that the time of the year when you're supposed to get some rest and have fun enjoying the wonderful weather has been the exact opposite for me.
That's why I dream of working in an environment that suits me, of work that gives me energy instead of draining me. I'd love to work in a way so that I would have energy enough to meet a friend after work or do something more than being at home watching Netflix. Because I know that I am worth more than that. I have more to give and would like to feel free for once. Right now I am too exhausted and it makes me feel trapped, that's not how I want my life to be. I have dreams of something better for me, cause I know that I'm worth it.
I've gotten the question where I get my inspiration for creating and drawing. As it came out of nothing this summer. The thing is that I mostly gather inspiration everyday from things or feelings around me. Mainly it all comes from a longing to create. As long as you want to create it doesn't really matter what you do. Everyday ain't a great day to make something with that WOW effect you want. I guess everyone creating something frequently will tell you the same thing. But if you don't ever start you won't get anywhere.
I try to carry some of my notebooks with me at all times. That way I can sit down anytime and start creating. To be ready to make something at all times, that's a key. You can't sit down and think that you have to start creating something wonderful at that moment without having given it a thought before.
Being around other creative people might be the thing that lightens a sparkle in you to start making something yourself. That works very well for me at least. Another way is the great YouTube, there are so many creative people in that community, people talking about creating and sharing their work. That's one of my favourite things to do, watching someone painting with watercolours. It's so fascinating the way you see layers building up making perfection.
The key is to start somewhere. The more you create and do the things you love the more will you feel inspired to make more.
I'm having some trouble right now. I'm too much in front of a screen! Studying, working, relaxing in front of the TV, editing and all the other stuff in between. It numbs me, my head feels stuffed. Today I've reached that point when its too much. I've had enough. Luckily enough I have complete silence around me, otherwise I would have even more to take in. It gets a bit insane sometimes.
Normally my days aren't like this because I know I can't handle it. I don't know how other people do it. I have to have breaks, getting some fresh air, reading a book thinking about something else.
The sad thing is that for a while I haven't had the energy to read those wonderful books I have laying around. The pile of books keeps on growing and I can't help but feel a bit sad that I'm not there enjoying them. That I'm not indulging in one of my favorite things. How will I get out of this slump? Because I know that the one thing that actually gives me more energy is actually reading and getting lost in a story.
I guess I have to try to better myself, and give it at least a couple of minutes every day. Maybe I will se a change. We'll see.
On Sunday I got a text from my mum with some photos of a cute little kitten. The kitten was in need of a new home, since the family was allergic to cats. My cat heart started bleeding, I would take in all the cats in need if I could.
Since one of our old cats always is out on adventure the other one is kind of lonely. I decided we should give it a try with this little one. So we got her!
She purrs all the time when we're near and has now figured out that Gottfried, the old cat, isn't a bad guy. They're even sleeping in our bed right now, both of them. Let me just tell you that I really enjoy being at home studying now.
(Upgrade the quality to HD!)
Life has been so hectic this last week. We have finished my husband's exhibition and it's all in place. 62 pieces of wood placed for everyone to see. On Wednesday afternoon we went to Loftet (the exhibition place) to put everything in order, for five hours. But that was only those few hours of work, there has been countless evenings when Andreas has been working on the pieces and I've hardly seen him. He has worked so hard, and he's so focused on achieving the best possible result.
His dream started really taking shape last year, when it was time to apply for cultural work grants. We wrote the application and hoped for the best. But the truth is that it's quite hard to get. About half a year ago, he got the news that his idea had been accepted. His exhibition was about to become reality!
I'm so impressed by his work. Even though I get to see every piece he makes, they surprise me, they're so perfect and his ideas are amazing once they come to life.
When we saw the finished exhibition, we could hardly believe our eyes, it was absolutely perfect! There's not a single thing that we feel like could have been done better. And that's truly the best feeling, after so many hours spent working.
If you have the time you definitely should go visit Loftet!
It's 9 pm, this is the first time today I've had time to relax and do something for myself. This day has been one of a kind. Not like most other days for me.
This weekend I've spent a much time as possible studying. I didn't allow myself a lot more than the most necessary, except for that dinner Saturday evening, because I've had to study. And that is certainly not like me. I'm the best at taking time to relax when I have an exam coming up. But it paid off. I had the exam this morning and it felt good. It felt so good to be so prepared that I couldn't wait to start writing it. I actually enjoyed writing it, I never thought that would occur.
I'm so tired I don't even know what I want to write anymore. I guess I'll have to wind down a bit before going to bed. Take some time to get a good cup of tea.
Spent yesterday evening at a dinner with some very dear friends. Great food, discussions and the autumn darkness gathering around the house. Candles burning and warming us as the night came crawling.
We were asked a question: "What one thing would you like to add to your life?" When you really think about it, what is it that you need, that would bring a new dimension to your life? The answers that came varied, from courage to time and not having to care about money. But one of the answers got me thinking, to be present, to actually listen and be there for the ones around us. It's too often we don't listen, we zoom out for a bit whilst someone is talking and telling their story. And it's so sad that we are unable to focus on another person without having to think about the next thing we can add to a discussion that is about ourselves.
The thing is, we all have a longing to be heard, to be seen and taken seriously. But that won't happen as long as we can't listen to anyone else without interrupting. We hide ourselves too much behind screens these days, our phones are always present which leads to us being not present.
I am constantly challenging myself to not have my phone with me on the table when I have a cup of tea with someone. This way I don't even have a chance to be distracted by it. It will give you so much more if you actually listen and care about the people around you.
I am so torn. I want to write, and have a good platform for it. For some reason I keep on coming back here even though I've tried to get some other place to free my mind. Maybe I should just keep on going with this site.
There is something liberating in writing down your thoughts. I've recently started keeping a diary again. My mind, which is always full of thoughts, can finally breath once I've scribbled down a few lines. It seems I need this, maybe more than I want to admit. My mind needs words. Both taking in the written word and making my own, a way of creativity and clearing the mind.
I've struggled with stress quite a lot these last four years. This has taken the shape of stomach problems, eczemas and fatigue. Maybe a way of dealing with stress would be to get my thoughts out of me? I think it would be worth a shot. And it might get me closer to a dream I have of one day writing a book. I need to become better at listening to my own body and the signs it's giving me. And daring to dream. I have so many dreams that I want to come true one day. If I don't do something about it they never will come true.
There is a change on the way. I haven't been too inspired lately to share my thoughts here. Mainly because every time I try to write something it sounds fake and not at all personal.
That's why I'm thinking of changing my blog into a Swedish blog. Maybe I'll stay here, or I'll change platform as well. We'll see.
I've felt like I haven't been able to get my point heard in the texts. And a lot of time it has ended with me not posting at all.
I want to evolve in my writing and photography, but right now there's something stopping me. And I think I have to get rid of what's standing in my way to be able to go on.
Finally spring is here for real. The sun is bringing light and warmth, and some of the first flowers has started to show.
I'm never much of a spring person, but somehow this year I've been longing for spring quite a while now. For the lovely green colour to appear everywhere. I guess this is the year I'll really enjoy this time of the year. This is my year.
I've already managed to burn myself in the sun the other day, the first day of real sun. That's me, sunburned all summer. At least it used to be, previous years I've been quite good at using sun protection and limiting my time in the sun.
The hope I had for this year, to read more books and spend more time reading, is finally getting better. Last few weeks I've finally gotten more into reading and have actually read a few books. It's just the most relaxing thing to do in the evenings, and I really need the chill time. More book updates and maybe a few reviews to come.